Full or Empty?

            Working at Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp has been teaching me an innumerable amount of life lessons! The most recent of these lessons has been learning what it really means to serve: to serve each other, to serve the children that come, to serve yourself, and most importantly, how to serve God. One of the biggest things I'm finding out is how they are all connected. Serving the children that come is what you may think is the main job description when you hear about working at a summer camp, but it's so much more than that! All the other staff members and myself are constantly emptying ourselves out for them. We are serving God by serving these kids, trying our best to be an example of Jesus to them. But we are all learning that as much as we would love to keep pouring out love on them, we can't do that if we are empty. God has been continuously teaching me that I can't do this ministry on my own power, my own energy and my own love; it's not sufficient, it has to be coming from him. We as staff have to put our "oxygen masks" on first.

What does it mean to serve yourself? What is your oxygen mask? How do you get from empty, to full?


Take.
The.
Time.

Listen to the things God is trying to teach you. Soak it in. What is he saying?

            After coming to my end, after breaking, after running on empty until I about crash, I finally took the time to let God take over. He had some things to remind me, to whisper to me. He reminded me by showing me a series of different verses that I will share with you.

Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. --Eph. 5:14

Kelsey! Do you realize that in order to shine, you have to let ME do it?? 

Let ME fill you up. Let me in. Give me the time, the space, and trust that I can do it. 

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ...restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself too, lest you be tempted."--Galatians 6:2

THIS is the power of Christ in me. 

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart....If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."--Psalm 37

Kelsey, it is OKAY to mess up sometimes. You don't always have to say perfect things, just love me. They will see that you love me! 

"Come to me, all who labor, and are heavy laden, and I will give you REST. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."--Matthew 11:28-30

You don't have to do this alone Kelsey. I'm right here, and I want to help you!

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end--because I am God, your personal God. The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade creation just for you. So don't be afraid: I'm with you."--Isaiah 43:1-5

I'm on your side. I always have been. 

Trust that when you're going through a hard time, you can lean on me. Give it to me! 

"So if you find life difficult because you're doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he's doing, and he'll keep on doing it." --1 Peter 4:19

When you're doing what I tell you to do, it's definitely not always going to be easy...but trust me! 

Trust that I won't ever give you more than you can handle. 

Trust that you're doing the right things. Trust that I know what I'm doing. 

I'm bigger than all your problems, than all your fears. 

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."--1 Peter 1:6.

You're doing this for me, Kelsey. Be an example of me...even in the trials. 

You can do this. I know you can. 

"Gods thoughts are not our thoughts. The way that he works surpasses us all."--Isaiah 55:8,9

I am way bigger than you could ever imagine.

I work in ways that you don't understand. 

            God filled me up when I gave him the chance. He taught me things that I have been able to pass along to campers, other staff members and friends. Sometimes we feel like we don't have time for ourselves because we have to use that time to "serve". I would encourage you to remember that in order to be the best example of Jesus, we have to be full of him, overflowing with his love and his presence in our life. So take the time. Find out what your "oxygen mask" is, and put it on first. Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

Hurricane

Find the truth in these lyrics that fit specifically in your life. Tell me how it fits and what it means to you!

Hurricane Lyrics

needtobreath

In the fallout now
                    It's hard to feel like we can turn around
                    With the damage done
                    It's hard to see how far we've come
We could not be proud
Of where our feet have walked along the ground
In the silence now
We play it back and forwards again

There's a sound in our guiltiness
It's a warning bell that rings
It's a call for our loneliness
And we can't see

We roll the dice we play like fools
We plead with time to change the rules
It's like a hurricane is coming our way
We've all been warned but we still chose to stay

I can't believe it now the time has come

Play the victim here
You know it's nothing but your pride and fear
But the more you hurt
The more you love the one you were

There's a sound in our guiltiness
It's a warning bell that rings
It's a call for our loneliness
And we can't see

We roll the dice we play like fools
We plead with time to change the rules
It's like a hurricane is coming our way
We've all been warned but we still chose to stay

I can't believe it now the time has come

In the light of the morning
Can we change what we felt and heard
Can we turn it into the glory
Break the paths of our fathers before us
Though we stand on the outside
We will find what we once believed
And will crawl our way to the clear skies
Standing up we are
Standing up we are

We roll the dice we play like fools
We plead with time to change the rules
It's like a hurricane is coming our way
We've all been warned but we still chose to stay

I can't believe it now the time has come

F.R.O.G.

      Ever since about freshman year in high school I have been keeping some sort of journal. Back then, I mostly just wrote everything about my days: the events, the hardships, the exciting news, friends, boys,  and the occasional prayer. While I still like to write about things that happen during the day, as I've gotten older I find myself more writing down things that God is doing through the events of my life....a different perspective than before. Probably one of my favorite reasons for keeping a journal is the opportunity it gives me to look back on what God was doing in the past and how things always seem somehow work out. I love relearning things that God taught me at a time of trial. I had the experience of relearning one of these lessons today.

      Last spring was kind of a rough time for me. I went through a number of unfortunate events and was tested through it. All the events seemed to pile up and they left me questioning God. It seemed as though every plan I had for the future was bing shot down, changed, or taken away. During this time I was going through a devotional book that had a different verse and meditation for every day. I would write in it things that I was going through and how it applied to that days verse. Looking back, it's pretty incredible how each verse I had seemed to be the most encouraging thing for me in that moment.

I had so many fears and doubts in what God was doing..."God is taking away everything that I thought I had set for my future. My roommate, living situation, guys track team, summer job; I'm scared for my future. I'm stuck. I don't know where to go or what to do. I'm so confused!" However, it seemed as though every step of the way there was a perfect verse to encourage me. For example, Jeremiah 29:11 "'I know the plans I have for you' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" or Psalm 42:11 "Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God!".

      The whole time God knew exactly what I needed. He was always there to comfort me. Even after every time I ignored him and tried to put the situation into my own hands, he was always quick to forgive and help me again. Going through the book now, it is so evident to me now just how much God had my best interest in mind. His path was, and still is, so much greater than any I could ever think of! God changed my roommate, my major, saved the boys track team, provided me with summer job, and so much more! Each one of these events proved to be so much more than I could have ever asked for.

      In the midst of everything changing, God kind of hit me over the head with a saying to try and get me to let go of my own desires. It was to F.R.O.G., Fully Rely On God. We take things into our own hands way too often; we forget that God is BIG enough to handle it...."it" being anything we are worried about! We are to live each day according to his will. Knowing his will however, isn't always an easy thing to figure out. We can't just throw everything at God then and do nothing about it. It's an active process. James 1:5 says "if you need wisdom--if you want to know what God wants you to do--ask him, and he will gladly tell you. he will not resent your asking.". In everything we do, we should be doing it because it is what the Lord has called us to do. When we start to think we have a handle on things on our own and go after our own desires, we may be fooled into thinking we're satisfied in the moment, but truth is, Gods plan is so much bigger and so much greater! We must remind ourselves daily to FULLY RELY ON GOD (emphasis on the FULLY). Keeping in mind that better may be harder, stop directing yourself, and start listening to the whispers of God. I guarantee he will take care of you. 

Your Lives Aren't Small

          So the other day one of my friends asked me this question, "do you ever find it hard to follow 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 all the time"? (Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus). My answer to him was absolutely yes! I have been through my share of hard times, and looking back, I didn't always do the best job at being joyful and giving thanks through it all. It's so hard to be joyful ALL the time, or to give thanks in ALL circumstances. But last night when I was reading my bible (2 Cor.) I was reminded of a very important point: it's all in how we handle these situations, after all, we are Christ's representatives. God calls us to "stay at our post", and after we get out of the hard times, he calls up to open up our lives and life expansively! I love the passage from 2 Corinthians 6:3-10, the message version--

"People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly...in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we're beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we're telling the truth, and when God's showing his power; when we're doing out best setting things right; when we're praised, and when we're blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all."

          God knows the hard times we're going through; God knows everything. We weren't meant to go through it alone. These times are here to make us grow. God's not the one holding us back, we are. I'm connecting a lot right now with the church of Corinth, and when Paul addresses them in 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 it feels like he's addressing me...

"I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!"

          I challenge you to share with someone the struggles you are going through. Live openly and bless someone.

Child You're Forgiven and Loved

          Earlier this week as I came before God, asking for his forgiveness for not spending as much time with him as I should, I was filled with remorse and just felt terrible about not making time in my schedule for what I know should be my top priority...then the this line in the song came...

    "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that you love me."

          God. He loves me and is simply excited for me to be coming to him now! We spend way to much time reflecting back on to all the things we could have done better, when really there's no need; we're already forgiven! When God forgives, he forgets (something we should learn to do). I thank God for loving me when I so, so don't deserve his love. That is why he is so great....he's so full of love, it BLOWS MY MIND. No matter how much crap I deal to him, he still loves me and still desires to just be in an intimate relationship with me. Nothing can ever separate me from Gods love!! 

          Romans 8:38-39 "I am my beloveds and he is mine". I belong with you Jesus! I belong in your arms. 

Another song I love, by Jimmy Needham...check out these lyrics. So much truth in this. There is no condemnation in Christ. 

Lyrics to Forgiven & Loved :
Tell me I’m forgiven and loved 
‘Cause I hear it from the street corner priests 
On how God is love and how man can be clean 
But my joy has been on holiday 
And my peace has almost passed away 
Tell me I’m forgiven and free 

CHORUS
O I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation 
But I bought the lie I still have work to do 
Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation 
But there is no condemnation in You 

O whisper to me now that it’s for real 
‘Cause in the silence of these walls righteousness lost its appeal 
Dirty deeds have done me in 
O but that can’t stop the faithful friend 
Giving mercy once again as You heal 
Here it is I’m feeling it 

(Chorus) 

O He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation 
And His blood commands my guilt to leave 
Now on Calvary I stand 
Empty pockets, open hands 
O there is no condemnation for me

(Chorus)

Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven
And child, you are loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved 

Make It What You Want It

          After many weeks of questioning why God placed me here at Point Loma, I finally have found somewhat of the answer. 
A little bit of background--
          Over the last few weeks, I've really been feeling confused as to why I was actually at the physical place that I was. I found myself asking questions like, why am I spending all this money to go here when I don't even have a clue about my future? What do you want from me God? What do you want right now? Or tomorrow? Or next year? I'm so lost. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Will I be here in a year? What have I been doing??
          To be honest, I was kind of disappointed at the community I found here. I chose to come to a Christan school so I would be surrounded by people on fire for God and ready to challenge me and help me grow. Not to say there's no one here that loves the Lord...I have connected with some truly incredible, Christ seeking people...but as a whole community, it just wasn't what I was expecting. Having a feeling of somewhat being surrounded by hypocrites, and people who don't seem to really be here for the right reasons was kind of bringing me down. Then I would look at a school like Oregon State...a state school, for cryin' out loud...and see them have what seems to be a better Christian communities than I felt we did here. I had to ask myself, why? Why is it that I wasn't getting as much Christ centered relationships at a Christian schools, as some of my friends seemed to be getting at a state school? We've gotten lazy.
          At the peak of all this confusion, I went to a pray/worship night in the greek with some other students. A lot of the people who were there I recognized, but I didn't actually know a lot of them. We worshiped some, then just started randomly sharing things that God had been teaching us recently. After a few people shared, I felt like I needed to speak up. I shared how I didn't really know what I was doing here, how I didn't get why OSU had a better community than we did...I mean, that's the whole reason I came here! I shared more of the struggles I'd been going through. Little did I know, I was preaching to the choir. Then it really hit me--here we are, all these people feeling alone when really all we need to do is come together! Think of what the community would be like if all these people who were struggling with the same thing were intentional about not letting those things happen! We don't want to be someone we're not, but so far on this campus we feel like we're changing...and just can't help it. But together, we can! We need to make this community the community that we want it to be. It doesn't just happen, we make it happen. This may be difficult, but we just have to focus and make a conscious effort to really create this environment. 
          So after a bit of trying to start things, a not really being successful, I started to get discouraged again. Why wasn't it just WORKING? God, this is so hard! Why me? I am so busy already. Is this really what you want me to be doing? ....and yet again, God proved to be so faithful. Why do I ever question him? I was at a prayer meeting writing down all these questions and pondering again what I was really doing. Later that night, my friend Abbie shoots me a text saying "God gave me some words for you". The next day I met up with her and she gave me a folded up piece of notebook paper that she had written on the night before at the same prayer meeting. As she handed it to me she said "I honestly don't even remember what I wrote. This is totally from the Lord." As I read it, I almost started crying. It read...


"Kelsey--The word of the Lord:
I love you my precious daughter. You've come so far this year. Continue to pursue intimacy with me my faithful daughter. Your community is here. Create the community you want to see. I have transcended my Holy Spirit upon you."


          Thank you God for being SOO big, and watching over me. As I grow older, and in deeper relation with my Heavenly Father, I realize more and more just how small I am, and how big he is. He's got me just where he wants me. I am here now and I need to allow myself to be used by God in any way. I am his servant, even when it may be hard, I need to be obedient and trust that the Lord know what is best for me.