Thursday, April 2, 2015

Moment with an Inchworm.

I had a moment with an inchworm the other day.
Call me crazy, but it was a real, honest to God moment with this inchworm.

Okay, so the moment lasted about a second, as I nearly killed him with my bike.
But for some reason I really felt for the little guy.

I identified with the exposure he was in from putting himself out there. He had mustered up the guts to inch his way across the paved bike path; subject to sun, birds, runners and bikers.
He was exposed to the world, yet he was still just inching along.

The truth is that we are all like these little, vulnerable inch worms, inching our way through life.
Learning the necessity of putting ourselves in exposed positions in life in order to grow, even if it is scary.

As I've grown older, now at the ripe old age of 24, I think I am gaining a more well rounded understanding for some of the negativity I've seen adults walking around with.
With a jaded, bitter, chip on their shoulder.
I've always wondered why that bitterness existed. It seemed to be everywhere.
But the more I get burned for doing the right thing, for letting people in, or for putting myself out there, the more I understand the callousness. Why would I ever want to do that again if that is how I get treated?

Enter: a jaded, bitter, chip on my shoulder.

Unless I made the choice to not let the bitterness enter.
Unless I decide to keep my attitude like a child-wanderer.
Like a an inchworm bravely inching into the danger and excitement of the exposed world.

So I made the very conscious decision to see the world in a glass-half-full kind of way.
The real struggle for me actually came after the initial decision to refuse bitterness. 
I have been ridiculed by other adults for my optimistic attitude. Calling me naive, uneducated and only wanting to see the best in people, therefore blinding myself to the truth.

I have been tempted to become more negative in order to seem more grown up.
To "mellow" down, and not get so excited about things because it makes me out to be childish.
To keep things to myself in fear of being judged by it.

My little inchworm would be so disappointed!

I don't want to live a life of fear.
Fear will betray me.
I don't want to live a life of apathy.
It does not define me.

I want to choose to keep inching.
Expecting Jesus Christ every at every turn, giving my life the attitude of child-wonder, which He wants me to have.
Against what the world may say, I want to continue to have a optimistic perspective. Knowing that I may not automatically think all good thoughts or have a pure or positive attitude about everything.
But if I keep listening to God, I will be changing all the time into the person HE wants me to be.

I am choosing to muster up the guts to inch my way into an exposed life. Subject to the world, but with my strength and hope in Christ Jesus.

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